The Courage to Be Disliked: social media edition
I’m a bit afraid to admit I am a sucker for a good self-help book. So naturally, on TikTok, when I was watching a video about ‘not caring what others think’ and the top comment suggested this book, I was intrigued.
In an age where business owners are kinda expected to also be content creators, I know there are probably a lot of people out there (like myself) who have found themselves in a position where it is essential to market your business on social media. Not cool, I initially started video editing to stay on the other side of the camera 🙄
The Courage to be Disliked explores how embracing self-acceptance and letting go of the need for external validation can lead to a happier, more fulfilling life. And what better context to apply these teachings to then your all-consuming social media presence?
Here are my takeaways from this book and how you can apply them to a social media context:
Looking for recognition in others vs finding value within yourself
“Wishing so hard to be recognized will lead to a life of following expectations…In other words, you throw away who you really are and live other people’s lives.”
So yes, maybe a bit dramatic, but this quote highlights the importance of long-term sustainable content that is true to you versus a fleeting viral moment.
It can be incredibly fulfilling to create content like no one is watching - and this starts by creating content you like to consume and feel connected to. Rather than begging for the attention of anyone on the FYP, you give “your people” time to find you and build stronger connections with you. This approach not only makes content creation more enjoyable but also allows you to cultivate a loyal, engaged community over time. Instead of bending to trends or altering your voice for quick likes, you’re building a foundation that reflects you. In the end, this authentic connection is far more rewarding—and lasting—than any viral moment could ever be.
To create content you genuinely connect with, start by brainstorming 3-5 content types that resonate with your interests, values, and expertise. Think about the topics you’re passionate about and the experiences that have shaped your perspective.
This could be anything from personal stories to lessons learned in your professional journey. Once you identify these topics/pillars, you can develop content ideas that align with them, ensuring that every piece you create reflects your authentic self.
Think about the content you like watching—whether it's tutorials, commentary, or storytelling. By drawing inspiration from your unique experiences and the content that resonates with you, you'll produce material that feels true to who you are and cultivate a deeper connection with your audience.
The benefits of this -
This earned trust between your and your audience becomes invaluable if you decide to pivot your business down the line—whether that’s launching a new product, rebranding, or exploring a different niche. Your followers are more likely to stay with you because they’re invested in you and your journey, not just in any single type of content. This approach gives you the freedom to evolve without losing the loyal community you've built.
A photo from my copy <3
The fear of criticism
Through the “separation of tasks,” this book discusses how the criticisms of others are completely out of our control. It is up to others to decide how they feel about us, and that is a reflection of them! It is not our task to convince them to feel a certain way about us and there is nothing we can do to control their opinions. This liberates content creation when it finally clicks.
When you realize that the criticism of others is out of your hands, it frees you to create without constantly worrying about how it will be received. Instead of holding back and fearing judgment, you can focus on what feels authentic to you. This shift not only reduces the anxiety around posting but also allows you to build a stronger, more genuine presence online. When criticism no longer holds you back, content creation can feel less like a performance and more like an expression of who you are.
Connecting this to our first point, once you are confident in your value and the value you provide to your audience - your content is unshakable.
What we can control -
So we’ve learned that we have no control over how people respond to our content—and that’s perfectly okay. But, what we can control is our own creativity, the quality of our work, and the way we show up consistently. Instead of obsessing over views, likes, or shares, focus on creating posts that feel meaningful to you. This shift allows us to work from a place of inspiration rather than desperation, which—ironically—often leads to better results in the long run.
Consider adopting a daily practice or affirmation that reinforces this mindset. For instance, you could set aside a few minutes each morning to reflect on your motivations for creating content. Write down three things you love about your work and remind yourself of the positive impact it can have on your audience. Additionally, start a “gratitude journal” where you note any positive feedback you receive, no matter how small, to remind yourself that your content resonates with others. This practice can help shift your focus from potential criticism to the value you bring, gradually building your confidence to post regularly.
A toolkit for creating freely
At the end of the day, The Courage to Be Disliked is more than just a guide to self-acceptance; it's a toolkit for creating freely and authentically in an algorithm that pushes us to seek external approval. By focusing on what we can control—our creativity, our voice, and our consistency—we free ourselves from the cycle of chasing validation.
When you’re rooted in your own vision, criticism, and trends don’t hold the same weight. Instead, you can build a foundation that supports you through any changes, pivots, or evolutions in your journey. This not only makes the creative process more fulfilling but also sustains a loyal, engaged community that values you for more than just a single post or viral moment. Creating with courage allows you to grow with freedom, explore new ideas, and ultimately build a lasting impact—one that goes well beyond the numbers.
